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Am I Weird?
jp-2
yodge
Is it strange that I can't bring myself to wear one of my favorite sleeping t-shirts, that says "Daddy's Little Girl" on it? I see it there in the drawer every time I reach for a t-shirt, but I can't bear to pick it up. I've poked it, but haven't picked it up since last December. Will I ever wear it again? Or am I obliged to throw it out now that I no longer have a daddy? Am I crazy? Can I still be a Daddy's Little Girl? I'm scared that something weird will happen if I wear it, even though I know nothing will. Maybe I'll cry or something. Or can I wear it, just not in front of Mother? What is your opinion on this? I want to know.


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You are not weird.


--
Danger is my middle name

And yes, you will still be a Daddy's Little Girl (well, "little" being subjective).

You'll be able to pick it up in time.
You don't have to wear it if you don't want to.
If you cry, it may be that you still need to. *comf*

I don't know your mom, but from what I know of her she'd probably understand.

Can I tell you anything else you already know? :-)

--
Banazir

i think you'll be able to wear it when the time is wright. even when your mother sees it. be strong, and think of the good things, and all that.

..you listen to your heart -yoj. It's just not time for you yet.
When my Dad died I was 19, and I went through his wardrobe and took things I could wear. I used his favourite ties as belts(this was in the sixties and quite acceptable), and I wore his pullovers(sleeveless knitted things). It made me comfortable. I wasn't living at home, so my Mother didn't come into it.
And I will always be Daddy's little girl. I still miss him.
The only thing that made me uncomfortable was dreaming about him. I would tell him to go away because he was dead. I don't know why.

Joy, I think you will *always* be your dad's little girl. He's not with you, but he's still your dad, and he's looking out for you where he is. I remember, when I lost my grandfather, going through the same feelings. I think no matter what, you're his pride and joy. Maybe you could talk about it with your mom?

Talk aboot what? I mean, technically, am I still X's girl if X is no longer? Maybe it's all semantics, but I still want to know. I suppose a parent-child relationship doesn't change just because one party is gone (unlike being a wife or girlfriend, which ends the moment the other party is gone)... however, are are you still a parent if your child dies? I suppose you're always "the child of Parent A and Parent B" even if both your parents die, but are you still a parent if your children die?

However, being Daddy's Little Girl is rather different from just being A Man's Female Offspring. Doesn't "Daddy's Little Girl" imply some sort of existing relationship? I'm just curious about the meaning, and what it implies.

-yoj

>>Talk aboot what? I mean, technically, am I still X's girl if X is no longer? Maybe it's all semantics, but I still want to know. I suppose a parent-child relationship doesn't change just because one party is gone (unlike being a wife or girlfriend, which ends the moment the other party is gone)... however, are are you still a parent if your child dies? I suppose you're always "the child of Parent A and Parent B" even if both your parents die, but are you still a parent if your children die?<<

I don't honestly think so. Your father still *is*. He's just not here with you. I can't speak for anyone else. But I believe that he's still there, he still exists. Just as if he went into another room from where you are now, he still exists. The relationship between you continues. It has to change, but it continues. You are still his little girl, not just because you're his offspring, but because that was part of his relationship with you.

>>However, being Daddy's Little Girl is rather different from just being A Man's Female Offspring. Doesn't "Daddy's Little Girl" imply some sort of existing relationship? I'm just curious about the meaning, and what it implies.<<

Sure it does. It implies that relationship continues, and grows and changes. You can't communicate with him directly as you used to. That doesn't mean that the relationship just truncates. You're still growing and changing. Where he is, I am sure he too is growing and changing. When you see him again, and I am sure you will, you will have much to catch up on. But I think you'll be surprised and pleased at how much he already knows.

I hope this makes sense, I really do. And I hope it helps.

Hmmm. I kinda understand where you're coming from... But practically then: if you had children who died, would you continue to list them if a form/application/survey wanted to know how many kids you had? I certainly no longer list "Father" amongst my surviving immediate family. I know he "exists" in another place, but I don't believe he exists here (except in memory), and I'm rather skeptical about the amount of interest he would have in the living world, since I'm pretty sure Heaven is a way cooler place, where he is caught up in the glory of God... I certainly wouldn't be too concerned about the boring Living if I were amongst the glorious Dead. But that's beside the point. I acknowledge that I am still Father's Daughter. But "Daddy's Little Girl"? Isn't that a different concept?

-joy


>acknowledge that I am still Father's Daughter. But "Daddy's Little Girl"? Isn't that a different concept?<

I don't think so. Being 'Daddy's Little Girl' is a part of you. It's something you learned how to be with him, and just because he's not here doesn't mean that that part of *you* has gone away. If you don't *feel* that connection right now, then maybe just set the shirt aside. You will later, when you want to dip into that feeling of being small and cherished and held and safe. Maybe then wearing that shirt will give you comfort. When I lost my grandfather, I couldn't bear to be around his things for a while. Later, those same things brought his memories back. My grief had eased some, and touching those memories was sweeter than it was painful.




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