It's so easy to delete. Hours and hours of my life... gone.
I tried a little poetry. But then musician in me went nuts and tried to put everything to a tune, so I stopped. I started songwriting when I was about 16, I think. Now I'm nearly 21, and it's crazy, but I got this feeling today: STOP. In the same way I simply stopped writing stories, I had this urge to just throw down my pen and say "Forget it." I mean, what's the point? Do I need to waste my time writing stupid lyrics and tunes when nobody really listens but me anyway? I'm tired. I've stopped feeling. I'm not exactly sure how, but I get the feeling that part of me is just... there. Don't get me wrong, I'm still plenty expressive and all, but I get this feeling that I used to be so much... more. I dunno. I just picked up an old binder today and found some of the earlier songs that I wrote when I was 17. There are chord progressions in there that I didn't know I even knew. I found basslines that I would never dream of writing now. I used to be creative. Now I'm productive. Maybe I got that awful QUIT feeling because I realized how much my musical freedom has deteriorated, giving way to the monster that is Verse/Chorus/Verse/Chorus/Bridge in 4/4.
Is this what depression feels like? Knowing that there's more but you can't feel it? I'm pretty sure I'm not depressed. I'm just kinda tired now, I guess.